Quick warning, this one’s a bit long, but has lots of pictures.

Pictures of text.

Can I manage to turn a scam being perpetrated on me into a pair of sweet rubbery shoes? Let’s find out.

The other day I received a Facebook message from a college friend. Deirdre is an awesome person, and we haven’t spoken in a while so it was strange to get a message out of the blue asking me about “the publishers clearing house.”

I knew instantly this was a spammer for many reasons, the least of which being the grammar and punctuation disasters that the real Deirdre would have never offered up.

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Obviously I was going to engage because….. duh. I figured I wanted to try to waste this person’s time and maybe see if I could get them to see the errors of their ways.

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The $150,000 was impressive enough, but flowers too??!! I’m all in.

I thought I’d appeal to “Deirdre’s” humanity by feigning illness.

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I’d be a fool NOT to trade my $500 for the $150K

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I hadn’t responded in a little bit. “Deirdre” is a woman of action. She doesn’t have time for my shenanigans! …. Or does she?

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Maybe letting her know about fictional run ins with the law would dissuade her. Or maybe it would have the exact opposite effect. Or maybe I can get a job there given my implied moral ambiguity!

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She already told him about the feathers I just made up. “Deirdre” is damn efficient.

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Clearly I’m never clicking on that link and there are just so many governments to choose from. If I had my say, Croatian all the way.

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“A free money”??? But I thought there would be many of the moneys. Not just the one.

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This is when I decided to switch gears a bit. You see, I do marketing and most brands want their product talked about as long as it’s positive. So I picked a brand I have had zero affiliation with since… ever… and decided to start the conversation. So far Crocs and I have ignored each other entirely. Can I get Crocs to notice me this way?

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Ostriches, amaright?

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Brand messaging….. I’m guessing.

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They say it’s a dry heat. It’s also a gooey one.

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And if the animals don’t, someone needs to educate them.

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“Deirdre” come on, with the forms…..

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If this works, I’ll live this dream.

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My friend Cory from Lean Green Dad has a pair of those and I was legit envious.

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Crocs, I’m still trying to decide if that color was your crowning achievement, or your biggest misstep.

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Admit it, you’re imagining how that would feel right now. Sooooooo smooshy.

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Daniel Stern needs some Crocs too, people.

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Wouldn’t want to keep the agent waiting. I think we were on day three or four at this point.

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I honestly cannot believe “Deirdre” is still talking to me. It was past time to wrap this up.

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So I thank you, “Deirdre”, for the chat. Just maybe, some heavenly angel from the Crocs factory will descend and bestow upon me the gift of Crocs. If so, I swear that I will try everything in my power (for 5 minutes or so) to find you and to buy you a pair too. That would be the happiest of endings for everyone.